Welcome back to the A Quantum Leap Tutoring blog! Twice a week we bring you a topic of interest and great links here at the blog. Meanwhile, A Quantum Leap Tutoring is here for all your tutoring needs - all subjects, all levels - throughout the state of Florida.
Over the last few weeks we discussed the bullying epidemic - what's going on and why, and how parents can help both victims and perpetrators of bullying (sometimes just by recognizing that one person can be both!).
In our most recent entry, we mentioned that the adolescent brain is specially wired to find peer approval extremely rewarding. This ties into a related topic - risk-taking in general during the teen years.
It's a commonly-mentioned fact that teens' brains just aren't done developing - the prefrontal cortex, which helps with decision-making, just isn't where it will be in adults, impairing decision-making for adolescents through their early 20s. Slate.com did a great series of articles earlier this year - Part 1 on February 4, 2010 and Part 2 on February 5, 2010 - describing exactly what this means.
Part 1 breaks down the current research, explaining that it's not that teens are unable to assess risk - or that sitting your teenager down and explaining the risk rationally, in a way that would possibly deter an adult from doing the same thing after thinking through the options, will actually help much. In fact, it appears that even when teens completely intellectually understand the risks involved in a course of action, the impulse to seek peer approval and new experiences makes risk taking seem completely reasonable, negating any number of hours of lectures and well-meaning advice from parents, teachers, etc.
Part 2 ponders the question of where to go from that nerve-wracking finding, as a parent. The general conclusion - though the full article is absolutely worth reading, as it is full of great thought-provoking commentary and brings a small amount much-needed humor to an otherwise worrying subject matter - is that it's all about just getting teens through the worst of it intact.
The good news is that while the teens in general are high-risk years, there are higher-risk times than others. The "worst" of it is around 15-16. Friends can be bad influences - you know that as a parent, and the research backs that up. Keeping your kids safe by knowing what they're up to and who they're spending their time with is absolutely the best strategy. Chances are there will still be some decisions you wish they hadn't made over the years, but keeping an eye on them, staying engaged, communicating, and encouraging your child to take up a hobby all do great things for reducing their risk.
Along these notes, on Thursday we'll talk about mistakes... and how to deal when your child makes them. See you then!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Bullying resources - for bulliers
Welcome back to the A Quantum Leap Tutoring blog! We at A Quantum Leap Tutoring strive to provide great information and tips here, and we are always available for all your tutoring needs throughout the state of Florida.
Earlier this week we talked about resources for kids being bullied in school or elsewhere. Today, I want to talk about resources for kids who are guilty of bullying others.
The thing about peer pressure - and about the way kids' and especially teens' brains function - is that behavior that inspires admiration and attention from peers is greatly rewarded in younger brains. This makes it easy for an otherwise kind, compassionate kid to get carried away into behavior that is out of character - bullying, or borderline behaviors that can still make other kids' lives miserable.
What this means is that lots and lots of kids find themselves falling into the social trap of bullying - the "typical" kids with apparent anger issues, run-of-the-mill "normal" kids just trying to fit in, and even victims of bullying from other sources. This is another case where just listening can be extremely helpful. Listen - to their interactions with other kids, to their stories about other kids, and to their teachers' reports on their behavior. It's quite possible for a nice kid to be involved in some negative situations without being a "bad kid," so be prepared to deal with and talk about the bullying without letting it completely color your perception of your child.
Stop Bullying Now has a great article written for kids called "Do You Bully?" It covers some ways to recognize bully behavior, and gives the great advice to talk to an adult for some perspective.
The adult side of the Stop Bullying Now website also helps with determining if a child is likely to be a chronic bullier. Along those same lines, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry recommends seeking help for a repeat offender bully to avoid serious consequences down the line. Always keep open lines of communication, and try to talk through the behavior with kids. If the behavior doesn't change, seek assistance from school and community resources. It can save a life, or even just some pain for your child and other children, and that makes it worth the discomfort it might take to remind your child about treating others well.
Earlier this week we talked about resources for kids being bullied in school or elsewhere. Today, I want to talk about resources for kids who are guilty of bullying others.
The thing about peer pressure - and about the way kids' and especially teens' brains function - is that behavior that inspires admiration and attention from peers is greatly rewarded in younger brains. This makes it easy for an otherwise kind, compassionate kid to get carried away into behavior that is out of character - bullying, or borderline behaviors that can still make other kids' lives miserable.
What this means is that lots and lots of kids find themselves falling into the social trap of bullying - the "typical" kids with apparent anger issues, run-of-the-mill "normal" kids just trying to fit in, and even victims of bullying from other sources. This is another case where just listening can be extremely helpful. Listen - to their interactions with other kids, to their stories about other kids, and to their teachers' reports on their behavior. It's quite possible for a nice kid to be involved in some negative situations without being a "bad kid," so be prepared to deal with and talk about the bullying without letting it completely color your perception of your child.
Stop Bullying Now has a great article written for kids called "Do You Bully?" It covers some ways to recognize bully behavior, and gives the great advice to talk to an adult for some perspective.
The adult side of the Stop Bullying Now website also helps with determining if a child is likely to be a chronic bullier. Along those same lines, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry recommends seeking help for a repeat offender bully to avoid serious consequences down the line. Always keep open lines of communication, and try to talk through the behavior with kids. If the behavior doesn't change, seek assistance from school and community resources. It can save a life, or even just some pain for your child and other children, and that makes it worth the discomfort it might take to remind your child about treating others well.
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