Bullying resources - for bulliers

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Earlier this week we talked about resources for kids being bullied in school or elsewhere.  Today, I want to talk about resources for kids who are guilty of bullying others.

The thing about peer pressure - and about the way kids' and especially teens' brains function - is that behavior that inspires admiration and attention from peers is greatly rewarded in younger brains.  This makes it easy for an otherwise kind, compassionate kid to get carried away into behavior that is out of character - bullying, or borderline behaviors that can still make other kids' lives miserable.

What this means is that lots and lots of kids find themselves falling into the social trap of bullying - the "typical" kids with apparent anger issues, run-of-the-mill "normal" kids just trying to fit in, and even victims of bullying from other sources.  This is another case where just listening can be extremely helpful.  Listen - to their interactions with other kids, to their stories about other kids, and to their teachers' reports on their behavior.  It's quite possible for a nice kid to be involved in some negative situations without being a "bad kid," so be prepared to deal with and talk about the bullying without letting it completely color your perception of your child.

Stop Bullying Now has a great article written for kids called "Do You Bully?"  It covers some ways to recognize bully behavior, and gives the great advice to talk to an adult for some perspective.

The adult side of the Stop Bullying Now website also helps with determining if a child is likely to be a chronic bullier.  Along those same lines, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry recommends seeking help for a repeat offender bully to avoid serious consequences down the line.  Always keep open lines of communication, and try to talk through the behavior with kids.  If the behavior doesn't change, seek assistance from school and community resources.  It can save a life, or even just some pain for your child and other children, and that makes it worth the discomfort it might take to remind your child about treating others well.