The Bullying Epidemic

Bullying has gotten a lot of attention in the news lately, as several recent teen suicides have been attributed to the awful, hostile environments the victims had to endure at the hands of bullies.  As an observer, I have found myself wondering: how does it ever get to be so bad?  How can bullying get so out of hand as to completely destroy lives?  How could it be controlled better?

One of the major problems seems to be that "minor" bullying is considered just a fact of life - part of the world we all have to deal with.  It's certainly true that bullying is very common (and, let's face it, not just among children, though children and teens are the focus of most of the current media attention, and of this post).  The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry notes that up to 50% of children have been bullied, and up to 10% experience bullying on a regular basis.  So why doesn't anything happen to stop it?

Part of it may be the attitude I already mentioned - that bullying is just something to live with.  How often do we hear children being told to just ignore it and be tough?  Of course we all want our children (and ourselves!) to be able to ignore negativity and just let insults roll off their backs, but there is a line at which it can be too much, obviously.

It sometimes isn't obvious when bullying has crossed the line.  As the AACAP points out, most of the worst bullying takes place when adults aren't around to step in and help.  Kids inevitably spend some amount of time minimally-supervised, providing opportunities for some pretty awful interactions with other kids.

And kids may not be forthcoming in disclosing the things that happen during this time.  Just one question - "Is there anything wrong at school?" or something along those lines - may not be enough, especially if you take their immediate answer as the permanently true answer and stop being available to hear what's really going on.  Try to be open-minded and non-judgmental, and available to listen.  Try not to minimize and just listen, and you might get the real story of what's going on.

We'll be back Thursday and next Tuesday with some thoughts on how to help victims of bullying, and also how to help those who do bully - often villified, but also in need of some intervention of their own, and some compassion.

For now, remember that A Quantum Leap Tutoring is available for all your tutoring needs, anywhere in the state of Florida.